Hi Rockstars!
It’s been almost ten weeks since I began my agent querying process for Project Castle, my YA fantasy novel with a Venetian Carnival twist set in 1796 Italy. Since then, I’ve received my fair share of rejections and full manuscript requests (of which I’m still waiting to hear from).
All in all, I’ve come to understand why many have dubbed this stage in the process the “Querying Trenches.” It’s quite simple actually. Because you die. On a daily basis. In fact, my life pretty much resembles Edge of Tomorrow, except I don’t get to wear cool armor and shoot down aliens. At least no one calls me a “maggot” to my face, so that’s something.
All joking aside though, the past ten weeks have been an incredibly educational experience. I wasn’t prepared for it. To be perfectly frank, I don’t think anything can quite prepare you for the endless cycles of confidence and elation, quickly replaced by self-doubt and depression.
If you think I’m being dramatic, trust me, I’m not. I’ve been pregnant four times, and this is worse. At least with a baby you know when the waiting will be over. Querying is like that scene in Journey to the Center of the Earth where everyone is falling for so long, they stop screaming to wonder how they could possibly still be falling!
Yes, limbo has never felt more tangible.
“We’re still falling!”
However, if I could travel back in time and warn myself about how hard on my emotions the last ten weeks would be, I still would do it. Some goals are worth the heartbreak, the effort, the never-ending emotional strain.
They have a life of their own, a heartbeat that won’t stop beating inside you, and so like dreams that haunt you, ideas that rob you of sleep, and thoughts that torment your every waking hour, they are too powerful to let go. To give up.
In the trenches of querying we may be wounded, as well as encouraged by fellow writers, but it all comes down to whether or not we’re surrendering the fight. Are we going to learn, adjust our strategy, and persevere? Or are we going to retreat beat down and battered?
Perhaps at moments like these, we’d do well to remember that “Obstacles are nothing more than tests designed to measure how seriously [we] want the rewards that [our] ambition seeks.” (The 5AM Club)
I absolutely love that quote by Robin Sharma.
How willing am I? How determined am I? Those are things I can control. The obstacles will be there one way or another. I just have to choose to climb them. So whatever it is you’re doing. Whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. Don’t give up. Limbo or not. Rejections or not. Wounds or not. Keep persevering. Keep learning. And keep fighting for your dreams.
The obstacles will eventually be overcome, and you will find yourself the conqueror.
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Melissa Muhlenkamp 